30 things I have learned in 30 years:
1. Never eat yellow snow.
2. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
3. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.
4. Don’t order a burger at a place known for Pizza.
5. When somebody tells you a plate is hot.. don’t touch it.
6. Don’t drink the water in Mexico.
7. Don’t try and sniff pepper, it won’t make you sneeze.
8. Yes, Pepto Bismol does make your tongue turn black.
9. Rocky Mountain oysters……yeah they’re not oysters.
10. Mayonnaise, is so much better with fries than ketchup.
11. Sometimes a pen is mightier than a sword.
12. Chicken fingers are a gift from God
13. Limos are way overrated.
14. Probably shouldn’t bumper slide on the back of a truck.
15. Catnip is for cats only.
16. Wrestling is not real, just like Santa Claus
17. You really can never win playing slots.
18. Man was not meant to go down snowy hills at extreme speeds with two sticks on his feet.
19. A grease burn just plain hurts!
20. Never believe everything you read.
21. Always think before you talk.
22. Jumping over midgets in Mexico is illegal.
23. Never pick up a lit firework.
24. Never order a dish that translates to “Angry Dish”
25. When playing paint ball… always wear a cup.
26. God does work in mysterious ways.
27. Try not to puke in your brand new car. It’s hard cleaning the yak out of the cracks.
28. When you get a chance to travel… go you may never get another chance.
29. My parents were right.
30. Put your pride to the side and try to be open minded to new things.